Teleporter shenanigans
by legoagentny
Summary: When the BLU teleporter breaks down after a Halloween battle between the mercs and Merasumus, the BLU team is disappointed. But it appears that the teleporter may not just be able to teleport just strange laser guns.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Here's my 2nd fanfiction that I'm working on so far. It is basically a crossover of the Team Fortress 2 Halloween update and Overwatch. I appreciate the feedback that I got in the previous fanfiction, so I am giving this as a response to that. Enjoy the first chapter!

 **Disclaimer** : I do not own any of content (characters, vehicles, etc.) that is represented in this story. All of the content contained within this story belongs to their respective owners.

Chapter 1: Another day, another fight.

PYRO AHEAD!

MEDIC!

FIND HIM, MAGGOTS!

These sounds being made were from the mercenaries of Redmond and Bluchard, fighting amongst themselves for cases, mission points, and just pure fun. But tonight they would be getting more than they bargained for, because tonight was Halloween, and the maniacal wizard, Merasmus, was as crazy as ever. Right now the crazy magician was disguised as a box, hiding among other boxes. He snickered to himself as the mercs mumbled to themselves on where the wizard could be.

Just then, Pyro passed by the boxes and looked at them in interest. "Mphh Mpphh!" he said as he aimed his flamethrower at the boxes, and revealed Merasmus's hiding spot by burning him, but that was not enough to down the evil wizard. "Fools! Never underestimate the power of a wizard! Behold the BOMBINOMICON!" yelled Merasmus as he began to throw bombs at the mercs below him, killing a RED Heavy and his medic, along with a RED soldier. However, the mercs had a special system called respawn, which allowed them to be revived after death, and in a matter of seconds the Heavy and his medic stepped out of the break room in perfect condition. As the Heavy stepped out, he noticed a scout sucking his thumb and hiding behind some boxes, whom he proceeded to lift by the collar.

"Oh! Do I smell soiled baby diapers? Get out there and fight like a MAN!"

"Yeah, says the guy wearing the fairy wings."

"I'll have you know, tiny man, that Heavy may look like beautiful fairy, but he will _end_ you." He said in a dark tone. Scout nodded nervously and ran towards Merasmus with his Scattergun and Mad milk.

Meanwhile, at the BLU side, a soldier and his medic came charging from their respawn, armed with a Buff banner and a Direct hit. "Charge me, doc!" yelled out the soldier, and a medic responded by supercharging his direct hit with his kritzkreig, damaging Merasmus down to a sliver of health. "Must hide… must heal!" moaned the wizard as he stumbled towards some barrels to disguise himself among them. But instead he ran into the entire BLU team. "Noooo!" He screamed as the BLU team's weapons destroyed him into a pile of dust.

"YEAH! I did it!" shouted the BLU scout in glee. But then he caught the evil stares of his team looking at him. "Uhhh… I mean _we_ did it!" The BLU team nodded in approval. They walked back to the break room and saw some crates and costume drops waiting for them there. They picked them up and began to try the costumes on. In the corner of the break room was Demoman, who, like always, was drunk.

"Eyyhhahheehehe…. Ohph hev ther, scoot. Yu suave ani cloving for ne?"

"As a matter of fact I didn't. Why don't you actually participate in these missions instead of always asking me for the stuff?" Scout said annoyingly. Demoman just shrugged and fell asleep instantly. Scout noticed that Engineer was busying himself with a teleporter, and Medic was with him. "Hey there Engie! I got some good stuff from that crate! Wanna trade?"

"No thanks, pardner. Uh, listen. We've been doing some investigating on the teleporter, and I think you might want to see this." He pressed a button on the table, and the teleporter began to spin. The usual red flash appeared, and a rifle appeared in the center. The team gathered round the teleporter to see.

"Ummm… alright. You can teleport a gun. What does that have to do with it?"

The medic took the rifle off the teleporter, which was larger and had a different design from the stock shotgun, and turned it sideways, revealing the words "Property of Overwatch."

"I don't think zis gun is offered by Mann Co ." Said the spy, who had entered the room without anyone noticing. "I read ze catalog everyday for new revolverz, but I have never zis this weapon before in it."

"Should we tell the administrator that our teleporter is broken?" asked Scout.

"I have already told her about zit." replied the Spy.

"Well… what do we do?" asked Scout.

"Simple." said the Engineer "We all take a vacation from fighting. I need time to see what is wrong with the teleporter, and you guys can't operate without an Engineer in your team. So basically, no fighting until the teleporter is fixed."

Everyone in the break room groaned in disappointment. "Well, now zit is time to begin dissecting zat pigeon that I found."

"Great." said scout "No fighting, _and_ we have a mad scientist among us. This is officially the worst day ever."

 **End of Chapter 1**

Author's note: Thank you so much for reading this. I'll try to get the next one up ASAP. Also check out my profile to find out about updates on my latest stories. Hope you enjoy the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2: Mechanical difficulties

Authors note: Hello, everybody, I'm back with another chapter of "Teleporter Shenanigans", just in time for the holidays! Enjoy!

Chapter 2: Mechanical difficulties

Back at the BLU base, the Solider was carrying a basket full of bread towards the Engineer's lab. Inside, the engineer had disassembled the teleporter down to its electronic guts, looking for a reason why the teleporter was acting up. The team had already been inside their base for 3 days in order to protect themselves from the wrath of Merasmus and the RED team. The BLU Sniper was in the attic, making sure that nobody was invading.

Solider stepped into the engineer's lab. As of this moment he was peeling off the armored plating of the teleporter's wing with a blowtorch, but stopped and turned towards the Solider, who held out the bread to him.

"Solider, Why do you keep bringing me bread every time!? I asked very specifically for a non-wheat based test object, and you did the exact OPPOSITE of that."

"Come on, maggot! This is probably the last time I am every going to fight a giant mutated loaf of bread, and I want to make sure I enjoy it in blood-soaked glory!"

"Just get me something that won't try and attack us in the long run. That is, if what I am about to do works."

"Ok fine, if it means I can get back to kicking my roommate's ass." Soldier responded, walking over to Engineer's workbench and picking up an empty munitions crate. He turned to engineer and handed him the box.

"Well, for once you didn't pick something made of bread for me to use today. Now, just to add the finishing touches." Engineer said as he welded the armor back onto the teleporter. Solider just stood back, juggling his supply of rockets and grenades in his hands. The sight made Engineer cringe, as Solider was not very good at juggling and could drop them at any moment, causing the whole room to blow up. Engineer managed to finish up his welding, and could already see a faint glow coming from the teleporter's power core. All he needed to do was press the button in his hand, and it would start. Solider walked to engineer's side.

"So what do you think, Engie? Will it work?"

"Well..." Muttered Engineer as he looked at the teleporter, which looked slightly bent and twisted "…assuming I've done this correctly, the space fluxuator's should collect power from the secondary power unit, and not the main core. Doing this will power the new material beam that I've installed, thus solving whatever problem that was causing the previous beam to glitch out the items coming through. If everything goes well at the other end of the teleporter, then that means we can go back to fighting Merasmus."

"YES! You hear that, Merasmus? I'm coming for you!"

Engineer groaned, and placed the empty munitions box onto the teleporter, and clicked the button in his hand. The teleporter sparked and whined to life, slowly charging itself. Just then, The BLU Medic walked in with a half dead pigeon in his hands.

"Hey, Engineer, do you ha- LOOK OUT!"

Medic pulled out his Crusader's Crossbow and fired at the RED spy who was about to stab the Engineer in the back, hitting him in the shoulder. But the spy pulled it out and faced the trio with his revolver drawn. The solider charged at the spy, and the engineer fired his Rescue Ranger at him. But the spy leapt over the solider and dodged the Ranger's projectile, throwing his sapper at the teleporter, causing it to lose its charge. The engineer responded by hitting the spy in the face with his wrench, and hitting him in the butt of his gun, causing him to double over.

"Heh, Damn spy didn't even fire a shot." The Engineer said grinning

However, just as the Engineer was about to hit the sapper off of the teleporter, the machine began to fold into itself, as if a black hole was sucking it inside out. But before the engineer could hit the sapper off with his wrench, the teleporter exploded, causing everything to go white.

End of chapter 2

Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading the next chapter in my fanfiction


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